Headmaster's Thoughts Archive
Headmaster’s Thoughts: June 2023, Commencement Speaker’s Speech
I have given a Headmaster’s farewell for 52 graduations. Our first graduation was actually in 1971 since, when Jayme and I started York Prep in 1969, we only admitted 6th through 11th graders in the first year. But I have never given the commencement speaker’s speech, until this year. Now! So I apologize for not being Oprah Winfrey or George Clooney.
I do want to make this speech about you: the graduating class. That was the first rule on “What to say as the Graduation Speaker” which I looked up, on Google, of course, and which I got after waiting through five seconds of an advertisement for a product that reduced crepe on the underside of ones’ arm–not a problem that I ever had. Their second rule was “do not say anything that you would regret in 20 years’ time”. In retrospect, I must have been reading advice geared towards the members of the student class who would speak. I turn 80 on my next birthday…in 20 years’ time I would be approaching 100. I want to be around, so I am, cantankerous as is my nature, desperately trying to think of stuff to say that I truly would regret at 100. It would give me a reason to live. I would push myself to survive so that I could regret that I told, in my speech, something regretful about a student in the class, or maybe a faculty member. That would be great. A real reason to hang on. Unfortunately, I cannot think of a member of this class to insult. The graduates here are a varied group; in this class we have athletes (state Basketball Champions among many other sports), and dancers and actors, but also in this class we have a fencer, some great visual artists, a pastry chef, a broadcaster who is your master of ceremonies, talented musicians, an elevator expert, a rocket scientist, a wooden stool maker, journalists and a costume designer. I probably have only touched upon the obvious members. But on the surface, they may have been absent at times more than they should, but they got into good colleges, applauded me once at the end of an Ethics class, and behaved very well at the Metropolitan Opera. And they survived COVID. This was a class that was 14 or 15 when the pandemic hit in 2020. I cannot think of a more social age in one’s life. We were told to close for a week or so in March of 2020, and confidently expected to come back in April. And then they required us to stay closed until the summer. And against the recommendations of the politicians, we reopened as normal (admittedly, with the option of zooming in) with our regular program in September. It is difficult to imagine, as adults, missing a year or two of school when you are in your mid-teens. The fact that this graduating class consists of such lovely and normal young people is a testament to their grit. So, I congratulate you on overcoming that very difficult time. If it helps, I can only say that those who overcome difficulties are stronger than those who have never faced challenges. But it was a difficult time, and we do tend to forget that this cohort is the one that faced the challenge of having friendly interaction affected by a fear of a disease that did not, in fact, materially affect healthy young people like they were. In this troubled world, I am optimistic about the future because I have hope that you, who have shown resilience, will be leaders in making a change for the better.
The third rule was to have a theme. Unfortunately, Google does not suggest a theme. I think, in my case it should be advice. I mean our first graduates are now in their in their 70s, and I have been doing this for 54 years. Who better to give advice? Actually, advice is very difficult to give. It could be very small advice, such as open a banana from the end opposite where it hangs on the tree, but this occasion seems bigger than that. You could also give grand advice such as follow your dreams. But, my dream last night had me being chased. I do not know by whom or where I was going. How can one follow that dream? It is apparently one of the most popular dreams for us all. It means, again, according to Google (and this time the five second ad was for a hair depilatory) that the dreamer is apprehensive about a future direction in his or her life. I wonder what that could be. Nor could I suggest that you follow that dream unless you like being chased.
So the only advice is the same I have given to 54 years of York Prep students and you have heard it before; be your own best friend. Listen to others, read whatever is written, but do not believe everything said or written. When students realize they are working for themselves, not for their parents, not for “society”, and not for their schools, but for themselves, then they become good students, and success is more likely. I was pointed to a career as a barrister. I was good at it. I won scholarships and awards. I was the youngest barrister at the Old Bailey. And I enjoyed it, until I defended a man called Charles Kray in the longest murder trial until then in England. I was the Junior Counsel, what you would call second chair. And we did pretty well. We won on many issues. His twin brothers got life, and he got only a very few years. The Detective Superintendent in charge of the prosecution case told me that our client was the brains of the gang. And I realized, at the end of the trial, that there was the majesty of the law, which naively I thought I was part of, and the pragmatic manipulation of the law, that I was really involved with. All that study to work with guilty criminals…it seemed less majestic. So, with Jayme’s support, I left the bar after nine years (starting at 16) of preparing for law and practicing law, and, together, we opened York Prep. My fellow members of the bar thought I was having a nervous breakdown. Yet, the life of a Head of school is infinitely better than that of a criminal trial lawyer; better hours, less stress, much more fun! So, looking back, I was my own best friend. And that is what I recommend to you.
The fourth rule of giving speeches is not to give advice. Well, I have already broken that one so it is a little late to follow that rule, but we could go back to the theme idea. I mentioned, at the beginning, that I was not George Clooney or Oprah. We actually did not have either of them as graduation speakers. But, in over 50 years, we have had some famous people. The very first was Dustin Hoffman. This was 50 years ago and he had already made, several years earlier, THE GRADUATE. He had an office in Mid-Manhattan, and one of the members of the senior class, Jessica, a determined young lady, decided he would be our speaker and sat in his office for hours until he came out to find out why she was there. And she asked and he came. I remember his speech because he said that in his high school graduation, the boy in front of him seemed to glide through quickly and he afterwards discovered that the boy had graduated on roller skates. After that, we had a whole array of celebrities. One, whose name I will not mention, was drunk and almost unintelligible. One was a minor politician who urged people to vote for her (which I thought was dirty move for a speaker) so we tried to avoid politicians, but virtually all of them were kind and generous celebrities, whose gracious speeches made the commencement exercises more memorable. This year, I am afraid you have me.
I should also say that I have been to other graduations. I was at the graduation one year at Dartmouth, and the speaker was the Prime Minister of Finland. He delivered a long and rather boring speech which just went on. And slowly, with increasing volume, there came a murmur from the undergraduates which developed and became almost a chant, and it was Finnish! Finnish! Finnish.
I have even given graduation speeches at other schools. One was at a Ukrainian Orthodox School in New Jersey. They must have been desperate. I think I talked about the value of having a backup plan. I remember that at that time, I was very interested in Lawn Chair Larry, as the papers called him. I rather admired him. He was an ex-army cook who had served in Vietnam, and whose goal was to fly over his town in California at about 100 feet. So, at the age of 24, (very close to the age of Jayme and I when we started York Prep) he tried to carry out his dream. He tied four clusters of helium balloons to the back of a lawn chair, (there were 42 of them in all) and armed with a pellet gun to shoot them one at a time if he got too high, he launched. And up he went. He had practiced carefully, and knew that the balloons would definitely pop if hit by one of the pellets in his air gun. He managed to pop seven of the balloons but, unfortunately, at some point he dropped that air pistol. He later said it was because a shift of wind made the chair tip. Anyway, with no way to get down (and here is where his lack of back-up plan really hurt him), he drifted up. He had a two-way radio and was in communication with his mother who kept telling him to come down this minute. Not so easy. He ended over 16,000 feet up, that is over three miles up) floating into the approach path of Los Angeles International Airport. Pilots were somewhat surprised to see a man in a lawn chair floating by as they went into land. The air traffic controllers from LAX got onto his short wave radio and asked him repeatedly which airport he took off from, and he kept replying 1633 West 7th Street in San Pedro.
Larry did drift, with the prevailing winds, to the East, and the balloons did slowly let out helium, as balloons do. He was chased by a police car on the ground. At the end, he dropped quite quickly and had to release water bottles on board to just stay above hitting electric power lines. When the police car reached him, they asked for his driver’s license, which I never really understood. He was eventually fined $1,500 for flying without a license, but, happily, (and I would have been one if I had known at the time) some of his admirers chipped in to pay.
Maybe I told that story because it has everything. Dreams, do what you want to do, curiosity (a great quality), having a back-up plan (a second air pistol would have been good), a mother caring but telling her son to do something he could not do, and, a relatively happy ending.
So let me end because of the last and fifth rule on graduation speakers that I read on Google–and I did not have to listen to another ad to get this–and that rule was to be brief. I wish you to be happy and have fun, to achieve your goals (maybe not quite like Larry), to be inquisitive, to stay in communication with your parents even though you cannot always do as they wish, to have friends who help you when in trouble, to stay in touch with each other and your teachers…keep those social connections you have made at school because being lonely is something you actively have to fight and all too common nowadays, and, finally, I wish you good luck as you fly in your lawn chairs into the potential hazards around you.
Congratulations on your graduation.
Now to the handing out of diplomas as we have rehearsed. My wife, Jayme, has handed these out with me since we started the school in 1969 and so it is fitting that we end together. Joining us is Ms. Rooney, now Head of College Guidance and your Dean.
Ronald P. Stewart
Headmaster
York Prep
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List of 20 news stories.
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Headmaster's Thoughts: May 2023
Read MoreThis month I am cheating by reproducing a presentation I made to an educational conference, this April, on the teaching of Ethics to high school students. Last month’s “Thoughts” were hopefully amusing. The same cannot be said for this presentation:
Good Morning. My name is Ronnie Stewart and I started York Prep School in 1969 with my wife and have been Head of School for the 54 years it has served its students in New York City. For most of those years, I have taught Ethics to all members of the Senior Class. -
Headmaster's Thoughts: April 2023
There are tea ceremonies all over the world, but nothing quite like the English tea ceremony. Since it may become a fading institution, I want to give it a review before it goes away with the steam locomotive. You can find this odd ceremony practiced in the better English hotels and a few department stores in London.Read More -
Headmaster's Thoughts: March 2023
Read MoreI love going to the opera, and drag Jayme along about five times a year. When I was a young man, I would sit somewhere near the roof but now we are fortunate to be closer to the stage. We saw Fedora very recently. It is not a great opera. The story is absurd, and it has not been performed at the Met for over 20 years. Whenever the Metropolitan Opera returns a rarely-heard opera back into its repertoire, they bring out the superstars to perform it. And so it was with this revival, which starred Sonya Yoncheva and Piotr Bezcala. The music was fair, but the singing was superb. Going to the Met, one often sees great performances, sometimes only good ones, and, rarely, average ones. But the experience of sitting in a vast hall covered mainly in red velvet, the visual spectacle of the sets, the professional excellence of the orchestra and chorus (and occasionally dancers), still makes each performance (regardless of the opera itself) a special New York evening. -
Headmaster's Thoughts: February 2023
Read MoreWelcome to February. As a second child, until now I never thought of myself as a “Spare”. Of course, I am not the son of a King either. I married a second child and have no idea, or much interest, if this is a sociological factor or just chance. Currently, I have noticed a tendency to find deep psychological reasons for simpler issues. -
Headmaster's Thoughts: January 2023
Welcome to February. As a second child, until now I never thought of myself as a “Spare”. Of course, I am not the son of a King either. I married a second child and have no idea, or much interest, if this is a sociological factor or just chance. Currently, I have noticed a tendency to find deep psychological reasons for simpler issues.Read More -
Headmaster's Thoughts: December 2022
Read MoreAs we approach the winter holidays, let me wish all of my readers, few as you may be, a very joyful New Year.I started writing these thoughts in December 2004. So, this month, to celebrate the beginning of my 19thyear of producing the pieces known as “Headmaster’s Thoughts”, I thought I would leave the essay format and indulge myself in making up a list. I really like lists. Good bibliographies have helped direct me to reading great works that I otherwise might not have read. Recommendations by friends have led me to places that I greatly enjoyed, and also to watch productions that I probably would have missed. I do know that every list is very personal, and, arguably, a self-indulgence on the part of the list maker, but this is a case of hoping that if I share my list with you, that you might share your list with me. I would certainly appreciate that. -
Headmaster's Thoughts: November 2022
Dreams are interesting. In mine, I am always a young man dealing with absurd situations in my former body. I think of myself as a young man in an old body, but dreams do not work that way, at least not for me. I youthfully run, duck, advance, and do all the things that I would have great difficulty (which is a euphemistic phrase for “impossible”) doing with my current creaky limbs. There is something reassuring in that dream world, even though when I wake, I realize it is completely non-realistic.Read More -
Headmaster's Thoughts: October 2022
Read MoreA ball is thrown into a room. The baby looks at the room’s entrance, curious as to how the ball arrived. A dog jumps for the ball. The difference is curiosity, and we are discovering that even two-month-old babies have an inherent sense of the laws of physics. They look for reasons. A ball is bounced and stays suspended in the air; babies are puzzled and look for reasons for this suspension of the law of gravity. The dog leaps up to grab the ball, indifferent as to how it got there. -
Headmaster's Thoughts: September 2022
Read MoreWe were once teenagers too. And got into trouble.It probably is difficult for present day adolescents to appreciate that all of their school administrators were once as young as they are, and although the avenues of “troubles” were very different, nonetheless all of us got into trouble in our own way. Teenagers have always tested limits, and we all went through that challenging period of our lives. -
Headmaster's Thoughts: August 2022
Read MoreDear Incoming York Prep Student: This month’s essay is primarily addressed to you. Often my monthly essays are deliberately not serious (I even attempt humor), and written for the enjoyment of the reader and myself. But not this month. I want to give you concrete advice on being successful at York, and, indeed, at any school you attend. -
Headmaster's Thoughts: July 2022
Read MoreIn many lists of top international undergraduate universities, my university, Oxford, ranks in the top three. This includes rankings by American based institutions. In the QS World university rankings (who is “QS”?), Oxford ranks second to MIT. In the U.S. News and World Report, it is number three after Stanford, and then UC Berkeley. In the Times Higher Education ranking, Oxford is number one. The reason I am giving you this statistic is not just for pride in a place I attended but, primarily, to note that virtually all of Oxford’s undergraduate degrees take only three years. Apart from the Classic Greats; a hallowed if slightly dated course, Oxford undergraduate degrees are only three years long. So why do American degrees, apparently considered lower on these rankings (and you may note that Harvard and Yale did not appear) take four years to complete? Since Oxford is the only university to come in all three rankings as one of the top three, that indicates excellence. Hooray! Why be modest? -
Headmaster's Thoughts: June 2022
Read MoreAs in all previous years, June’s “Headmaster’s Thoughts” is the speech made by the Head at the 2022 Commencement Exercises.Congratulations to the graduating Senior Class of 2022, and your families who helped get you here. This is a great group of young people, and all of us applaud your success. You have contributed to so many parts of our school academically, socially, in the performing arts and athletically. I note that over 10% of your class brought home our first Basketball State Championship since 1992. That is just a sign of the spirit of this group. In all arenas, I give you my congratulations. -
Headmaster's Thoughts: May 2022
The day before I started writing this piece, I watched our first League Boys Varsity Volleyball game of the Spring Season. They won! And they beat a school that is three times our size. What is happening? Are we becoming a sports powerhouse without knowing it? Since we won the State Basketball Championships this year, we have had a few applications from basketball players eager to join our program. I should also proudly state that both our Girls Varsity Basketball and Boys Junior Varsity Basketball teams won their League Championships. Hooray, I say. But, without disappointing the applicants, I should also add that we are not the University of Kansas. The last time we won the State Tournament was 30 years ago. 1992! Not exactly a dynasty.Read More -
Headmaster's Thoughts: April 2022
Read MoreI have two numbers on our home phone. Whenever a call comes into the second number (without anyone being on the first line), I always answer, “F.B.I.”. This seems to work. -
Headmaster's Thoughts: March 2022
Read MoreI want to tell you a story about my life. Sorry to be self-absorbed, but maybe you can learn a general lesson from my particular circumstance. Back in 1969, I was a very young and, surprisingly, successful barrister. I was in the right Chambers (what you might call a sort of partnership) at the right time, and I had been chosen as the Junior (what you might call “second chair” ) to defend Charles Kray in the Kray case, which turned out to be the longest criminal murder trial in English history. In the middle of that trial, on October 6th 1968 to be precise, I married Jayme. -
Headmaster's Thoughts: February 2022
Let me categorically say that we all need fun in our lives. COVID, unfortunately, has robbed us of our opportunities for silliness. I remember having a family Thanksgiving dinner party with friends and extended family, and providing them all with clown’s noses. The wearing of those red squeaky sponges added to the event. Now, we do not have those parties. I remember blowing up balloons on a plane and making animals (some of which popped), which I gave to other passengers, to the extreme embarrassment of my son. Now we do not take planes anymore. I remember…no, I will not bore you further. I think most of you know what I mean. Our whole way of life has been affected by the pandemic. And I know that I have been lucky. No one in my family has been hospitalized yet. Some have had COVID, but only mildly. I am still untouched but waiting.Read More -
Headmaster's Thoughts: January 2022
Read MoreAnother spin around the Sun. Another year.Is it the eternal optimistic nature of our species that we expect next year to be better? Because I think most of us do. We really look forward to getting over the pandemic, seeing each other’s faces without covering, socializing together. And if we adults have had a hard time of it over the past two years, how much worse has it been for our children? The time spent in school is the most critical time to develop the skills of understanding how to get on with peers, how to share, how to be a member of a community. For too many children, that avenue of progress had a major break. They were homebound. Should they have been in school? I think so. -
Headmaster's Thoughts: December 2021
Read MoreAs we all look back over the year of 2021, it would be nice if we could compare it to previous years. How comforting to give a detailed analysis of growth, and achievement. Sadly, 2021 will go down as a year marked by extraordinary events. We have had a pandemic such as we have never seen in our lifetimes. Thankfully, due to the miracle of vaccines, we are now seeing a slow recovery. Yet the statistics for inflation, employment, and climate control, are uniformly sad. And no one can say that the quality of life in our great city is yet back to normal. -
Headmaster's Thoughts: December 2021
Read MoreAs we all look back over the year of 2021, it would be nice if we could compare it to previous years. How comforting to give a detailed analysis of growth, and achievement. Sadly, 2021 will go down as a year marked by extraordinary events. We have had a pandemic such as we have never seen in our lifetimes. Thankfully, due to the miracle of vaccines, we are now seeing a slow recovery. Yet the statistics for inflation, employment, and climate control, are uniformly sad. And no one can say that the quality of life in our great city is yet back to normal. -
Headmaster's Thoughts: November 2021
Can I be the only person who does not carry a cell phone? It seems that modern society is run on the basis that one will always have a cell phone at hand.Read More
