Ways to Make New Friends and to Reconnect with Old Friends
Dear York Prep Community,
After two years of uncertainty with the pandemic in our midst, we returned to school last Thursday. We entered the building with hope for a more stable year. We know how the pandemic has affected our students' learning, but what about their friendships and connections to others? The pandemic has created challenges for friendships and other relationships. Many relationships have been sidelined, often due to not being physically present with friends and loved ones. Friendship and connection are beneficial for our mental and physical health. As we move back into our lives fully, we may look at friendships through a new lens. What can we do to reconnect with existing friendships? How do we make new friends? And are there friendships we need to reevaluate? Below are some tips to help you reconnect with old friends and make new ones.
Reconnecting with old friends:
Your closest friends are likely at the top of your list, but what about friends you saw regularly but weren’t close enough to stay in touch? Below are tips to get you started:
- Don’t be passive, reach out: Oftentimes we think friendships happen organically. Meeting a person can happen organically, but friendships require effort. Be a part of your friends’ life. Be proactive, let them know you’ve thought about them, or share a memory. ”Remember when we did ______?” Ask how they are doing.
- Assume people like you: Sometimes we make up a false narrative that the other person already has a lot of friends, or they won’t want to hang out. Change your mindset and approach the task assuming people like you and want to hang out.
- Make plans: Be the first one to reach out and make a plan to get together.
- Don’t worry if you’re out of practice: Some people may feel awkward reaching out. Remember that other people are feeling the same way. Give yourself grace if you’re feeling a little rusty. Your social skills will come back. You just have to give yourself time to get back out there.
Making and keeping new friends:
Making friends can sometimes be challenging when you enter your teen years. Whether you’re more introverted, are new to your school, or you have a difficult time communicating with others, it helps to build a few crucial skills. It is helpful to choose compatible friends (it may take a little time, but it’s worth it). Below are some tips for making friends.
- Notice people in your class: Look around the room to see if anyone seems interesting or friendly. You could invite someone to lunch or form a study group. You might find that you have things in common.
- Join clubs: Take advantage of this friend making opportunity by choosing a club that interests you. These clubs will provide an opportunity to make new friends.
- Be aware of your body language: Your body language can send a message that you are open and ready to talk to someone. For example, sitting with your arms or legs crossed could give someone the impression that you are not interested in connecting with people. Saying hello and offering a warm smile can send a message that you are open to meeting people.
- Be aware of other people’s body language: Just as your body language is important, the other person’s body language can also provide a hint as to how they may be feeling. For example, if someone is sitting off to themselves with arms crossed, and not making eye contact, they may not be ready for someone to approach them yet.
- Make eye contact: This doesn’t mean to stare at someone in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable. Making brief eye contact with someone who may also be making eye contact with you could be a great opportunity to introduce yourself.
- Compliment someone-it actually works!: Tell someone you like their shoes, hairstyle etc.
- Be yourself: A good friend will like you for who you are. Don’t feel rushed to jump into friendships. Take your time and invest in quality friendships.
- Be open to new things: Trying a new club or hobby can help you meet new people.
- Realize your insecurities are normal: If you feel nervous to talk to new people you’re not alone. Most people feel the same hesitation. Realizing these are insecurities shared by other people can help you find the courage to talk to someone new.
- Once you’ve made friends, spend time together: It’s important to spend time together, talk often, and hang out regularly.
- Be a good listener: Friendships are a two-way street. If you want to keep friends, you need to be an active listener (maintain eye contact when someone is speaking, confirm that you hear them by nodding occasionally, and avoid interrupting).
- Communicate clearly: Keeping friends is a joint effort. Stand up respectfully if you disagree. For example, your friend asks to watch the same movie every time you hang out. You can respectfully say, maybe this time we can watch the movie I like.
Friendships enrich our lives. Although you may be hesitant to put yourself out there, you can choose to keep an open mind and stay curious. Remember, it’s normal to feel awkward when meeting new people and reconnecting with old friends.
As always, there are adults to speak with at school to address any concerns. Students can reach members of the Wellness team on Canvas, or visit our offices. Parents can reach us by email. Evelyn Rowe-Cosentino at erowecosentino@yorkprep.org , Elizabeth Aiello at eaeillo@yorkprep.org , and Alison Kaslow at akaslow@yorkprep.org .
When you have a moment, below are some resources to help you navigate friendships.
Ten ways to meet new people- A message for teens:
Five simple tips to make friends :
How to make friends easily if you’re a teen:
The pandemic has impacted our friendships: Here’s what to do:
Warmly,
The Wellness Team.
Evelyn Rowe-Cosentino, Elizabeth Aiello, Alison Kaslow
