Headmaster’s Thoughts – May 2006

I am sure you get e-mails. We all do. Unfortunately, I usually get ones that I don’t want from perfect strangers. In the main, their “urgent” messages to me are either of an obscene nature, suggesting that they can cure some insulting “inadequacy,” or they want to sell me a mortgage or prescription drugs or a cheap stock. They are “spam,” and for every one of my friends who might send me a personal letter, at least ten e-mails come from these disgraceful spammers.

All of this leads me to wonder: Who answers them? Is there any way to direct (I think the e-mail expression is “forward”) a spammer to another spammer so that we can start an infinite chain reaction of spammers spamming each other? What a great way to invent the continuous motion machine that breaks the laws of Physics. It would have the added advantage that it would be a complete waste of time for all those who have insulted and disturbed us. Heaven!

I do have a personal issue though with this e-mail business. I have been writing “Headmaster’s Thoughts” for some time, and I don’t think I have had more than four e-mails in reply or response. This leads me to think that only spammers are reading my “Thoughts” and to wonder if I should send the spammers back months’ versions. So my cry in the wilderness is: Is anyone reading this?

There was a great “Saturday Night Live” skit–in the days when one could watch “Saturday Night Live” because it was actually funny—in which Buck Henry portrayed a talk show host who nobody responded to. He sat forlornly in front of telephones that never rang, resorting to more and more outrageous comments in the hopes of stirring someone to call. With the final desperate comment, “Hitler was a great and good man. Please call if you disagree,” he gave up.

I am beginning to think the skit was not as funny as I thought then. Last month I railed (not very humorously) against having to call India for service of a television set. I have discussed Sikh taxi drivers (my favorite), the fact that I have no “Google” presence without coupling my wife’s name to mine to get a reference, and the occasional more heavy “thoughts” on education. No replies! No comments! No criticisms!

Did I ever tell you my thoughts on Hitler?

Ronald P. Stewart, Headmaster
E-mail: rstewart@yorkprep.org

“Headmaster’s Thoughts” for previous months are archived in the section In the News. You may access additional months by clicking Headmaster’s Thoughts Archives on the same page.